too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
