I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
