Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Boobs speak an international language.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I am naked and annoyed.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
