So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I love having hate sex.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
