Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
