Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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