peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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