Even water is tasting like jack daniels
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
This is my gift to your gina
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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