I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
