It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize