it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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