My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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