today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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