I'm pants shitting drunk right now
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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