its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Randomize
