OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
