i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
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i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
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When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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