I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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