If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
