if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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