I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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