whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
