I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
