You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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