He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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