It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
