We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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