Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I have post one night stand depression
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
