Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
