one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize