We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
