I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
