I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
