I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
