I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
