I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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