Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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