oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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