About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
