On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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