he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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