I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
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Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
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you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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