Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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