the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
