Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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