I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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