My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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