i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You can't just leave with hair like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize