Acid is not a monday night drug
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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