Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize