so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Even the bartender felt bad for me
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Green mimosas i think yes
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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