one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
