He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
operation harelip BJ is a go
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Acid is not a monday night drug
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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