I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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