you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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