Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
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What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
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I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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