She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
